reversed retirement

I woke up in the middle of the night. I could see a bit of sun peering through a small crack in the wall that I missed, but when I cane back from the bathroom, the light was gone. Maybe time really is detaching from me. I'm a little depressed, I can't get behind my ideas today. I'm beginning to anticipate the sensation of "Where did all that time go?" when I get out. But maybe it will be like waking up from a dream- by short circuiting this old man's feeling, I'll realize that the time hasn't all gone anywhere; it's just one dumb lost week, and I'll still young. Unless this process is working too well- and I emerge either old or to an old world. In a way, this project is like being in a nursing home, retiring before rather than after my life. It' kind of nice to get that out of the way.

2:05 am in the time machine, Jan 4th